


Harm

by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-01
Updated: 2002-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra%20of%20Yore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Harmony becomes a vampire, meets up with a certain lovelorn peroxide blond, and proceeds to drive him steadily insane. Spike/Harmony in an odd sort of way...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why You Should Never Insult the Man with the Sharp, Pointy Fangs

_It is a tale as old as time. A man and a woman, separated by life and circumstance. Yet somehow they manage to come together. They have their differences. In fact, it seems like they should be the worst of enemies. And yet something...special happens. It's as if there was magic in the air, and suddenly it becomes clear that these two people who seem so completely different were meant to be together. Their love can conquer anything: race, class, prejudice, fear, war. It is a tale of destiny..._

 _This is NOT one of those tales._

* * *

“As if!” Harmony flung her blond hair back over one shoulder and rolled her eyes at Madison. “That dress was _so_ last year!”

“Can you _believe_ the color?!” Madison said in disgust. “Hello? Red not in season here!”

“And what’s with the ‘Miss’? It’s not like I’m an uber-virgin like her,” Harmony went on. She affected a nasal accent. “ ‘We’re closing now, Miss.’ ‘Miss, if you could please hurry.’ ‘Miss, can you come back tomorrow, please?’ “ She threw back her head in disgust. “Like I’m _ever_ going back there! This is a busy shopping trip. I don’t have time to cater to _losers_!”

“Totally,” Madison nodded vigorously. “Umm…” she paused in the darkened lot. “Where did we park?”

“Somewhere with the trash,” Harmony shivered at the thought. “Honestly, you’d think this place would have elite parking or _something_! ‘Cause you just know that some geek’s managed to get dirt on my new paint job.”

“And it’s so totally awesome, too,” her friend replied. “Metallic pink… Your dad rocks!”

“Yeah, he’s good for _something_ ,” Harmony shrugged as they began walking through the aisles of cars. “Ugh!” she came to a sudden halt before an oil puddle. “Jesus, people! Think about my new shoes, and try to have a _little_ courtesy!”

“Ew, gross!” Madison agreed, stepping around the pool. “But, look! There’s your car.”

The two shallow young women made their way to where an overhead streetlight illuminated the bright pink BMW.

“Keys, keys, where are the keys?” Harmony began digging through her Gucci handbag.

“Uh…Harm,” Madison tapped her on the shoulder.

“They’re in here somewhere,” Harmony insisted.

“Harm…” This time the tap on the shoulder was a bit harder.

“Jeez, impatient much?” Harmony shook her off without looking up.

“Harm!”

“What?!” Harmony demanded, finally looking at her friend…and seeing the four men that surrounded them for the first time.

There was something about the way they looked at her… It reminded her a bit too much of that pervert who’d bitten her at graduation. Luckily, some group of no names had dragged him away in time. There was no one here to help her this time though, and she gulped slightly before putting her normal haughty mask back firmly in place.

“This your car?” one of them gave her a broad, insincere smile.

“Yeah,” Harmony popped her gum in irritation. “What’s it to ya?”

Another laughed. “Nice car,” he managed to get out between chuckles.

“Yeah, it is,” Harmony put her fists on her hips defiantly, “and lower-class trash like you will never ever come _close_ to owning one like it.”

“Uh…Harm…” Madison nervously tugged at her arm when one of the men growled at them. “Maybe we should just go?”

“Yup,” Harmony agreed. “Gutter-trash like this don’t deserve our time…” She was abruptly cut off from her car door by one of the men. “Excuse me?!” she said sarcastically.

“You’re not excused,” he growled, his eyes flashing yellow. “In fact, I’d say you owe us big time…”

“O-Owe you?” Harmony abruptly realized that she wasn’t in control of this situation.

“She’ll make a good little slut,” another of the men agreed.

“Yeah right,” Harmony rolled her eyes. “Like anyone as homely as you could get— Aieee!”

She screeched in horror as one of the men grabbed Madison firmly by the neck, and snapped it as easily as if it was a twig.

“Ohmygod!” Harmony gasped frantically. “Ohmygod, ohmygod…”

The four men turned to look at her.

“Please, don’t kill me,” she begged. “I’ve got money! Lots and lots of money! And I’ll give it all to you, if you just let me go.”

“Nice try,” one of the men’s face abruptly transformed into that of a demon’s. Harmony probably would have been a bit more surprised if she hadn’t grown up in Sunnydale. “But you deserve something special…”

“Let’s see how she likes being a slave,” another leered at her through fangs and ridges.

“Please…” Harmony back into her car’s hood. “I’ll do _anything_.”

“You bet you will, sweet,” another growled from beside her, “once we’re done with you.”

And with that, she was tackled to the hood. She batted uselessly at one of the vampires with her purse, but he quickly snatched it from her, ripping the leather strap as he did so.

“That bag cost over a hundred dollars!” she exclaimed, outraged.

Another vamp pinned her firmly beneath him, holding her hands high above her head. “Don’t worry, baby,” he hissed. “It’s the least of your worries.” He flashed long, white teeth at her.

“Not again!” Harmony rolled her eyes. “Same old much?”

And he sunk his fangs deep into her throat.

“Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…!!”

Harmony screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

“Jesus, shut her up or something,” one of the vamps complained, covering his ears.

“I’ve got it,” another cut open a slit in his wrist and brought the blood up to her mouth. “Drink,” he ordered.

“Ugh!” Harmony said weakly from loss of blood. “Like I’d drink that?! You’ve probably been feeding off of skanky homeless people and—”

Her diatribe was cut off when he pinched her nose shut with his free hand and forced the blood down her throat.

 _Daddy is sooo going to take your homely asses to court about this_ , was Harmony’s last thought before the world around her went black…

* * *

Spike threw his head back and downed the entire shot glass. Empty bottles of liquor lined the bar on either side of him while he played his most recent favorite game.

The rules went something like this: alternate between whiskey, bourbon, and tequila. Repeat until you pass out. Remember what finally caused you to pass out. If it was whiskey, Dru dumping him for Angelus was the most humiliating event of his life. If bourbon, it was the Chaos Demon. And if tequila, it was her newest honey, the Fungus Demon.

Spike played practically every night. So far it was pretty much a three-way tie.

The other week, the bartender had gently suggested that Spike try to actually do something with his life instead of moping about all the time. The barkeep’s head had been quickly removed from its body. Given that said barkeep had been a ten-foot Vri’al Demon, that pretty much meant that everyone left Spike alone. Especially the current bartender.

Spike was more than happy with the way things had turned out. The last thing he wanted right now was to be bothered by _anybody_.

“Hey, buddy,” a drunken vamp came up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“’m not your ‘buddy’,” Spike growled before drowning another shot.

“I know you,” the vamp insisted.

“How nice for you,” the peroxide blond gave him a glare that would have sent any less drunken vamps scurrying.

“Yeah,” he companion remained completely oblivious to the mortal danger he was in. “My Sire’s Sire was this vamp named Luke. I heard he’s like your uncle or something. That makes us cousins, I guess.”

“Piss off,” Spike’s glare turned several shades more sour.

“Now,” the intruding vamp shook his finger in front of his face, “that’s no way to treat family.”

“You want to know I treat family?” Spike’s tone was soft but deadly.

The other vamp just smiled at him drunkenly.

With a  roar, Spike thrust his hand deep into the vamp’s chest and quickly sunk his claws into the unbeating heart. The other vamp stared in disbelief as Spike pulled it right out of his chest.

“Nice knowin’ you, mate,” Spike gave him an evil smile before crushing the heart in his palm.

It and the vampire before him exploded in a cloud of dust.

“Someone got a problem?!” Spike raged at the circle of young vamps that had surrounded the spectacle. They had all fled within seconds. “Thought not,” he smiled slightly to himself.

“You want another?” the bartender asked nervously, gesturing to the now empty bottle of whiskey in front of him.

“Nah,” Spike said, standing up from the bar and lighting a cigarette. “Already had my fun for the night,” he commented, leaving without putting so much as a cent on the countertop in his wake. “Gotta remember that,” he mumbled to himself as he took another drag off his cigarette and stepped out into the night. “Violence solves everything…”


	2. A Really Bad Shoe Day

Above her, Darryl growled and cried out as he spilled his seed deep within her womb. Harmony rolled her eyes in annoyance when he collapsed on top of her.

Across the room, Eddie, Jeff, and Nelson were in similar states as Darryl. Eddie and Jeff had taken her simultaneously a while back, and even their combined efforts had – not too surprisingly – failed to get her off. Nelson was more able to do so, but he always insisted that she just give him a quick blowjob instead. And despite his six feet four inches, the guy had no stamina. Darryl suffered the same problem as his other two comrades.

Namely, they had all been turned in high school. This meant that certain of their…assets hadn’t been able to fully reach maturity. Thus, Harmony was constantly left hot and bothered.

She shoved Darryl off of her and went into the other room to try to ease the aching within her. She plunged two fingers deep into her core and once again bemoaned her situation.

Basically, she was too much of a pro for these four losers.

She had been vaguely aware up until the point where she had become a vampire that the males of the species were supposed to be something akin to sex gods. Harmony decided that either the rumors were false, or she had been _severely_ short-shrifted. Literally.

After several minutes of intense thrusting upon her fingers, she finally managed to induce a small orgasm. It was about as good as she was getting these days. The unfortunate thing was that her favorite part of being a vampire was the quantity of the sex…and her least favorite was the _quality_ of the sex. It was grievously unfair.

Plus, they were so not good-looking enough for someone as pretty as her.

Muttering under her breath about how they were all going to wake up with nail files stuck through their hearts – those cheap wooden nail files, mind you, not the ones from her personal manicure kit – she made her way back to the main ‘nest’.

The four male vamps were awaking now, stretching and puffing out their chests like they were something impressive. They all needed several good trips to the gym, in Harmony’s opinion.

“So,” Jeff said, grabbing ahold of his jeans and pulling them on, “who do we kill tonight?”

“Here’s an idea,” Darryl said, sitting up on the bed. “How about we take a road trip?”

“Cool,” Nelson nodded. From what Harmony could tell, Nelson could only speak in monosyllabic words.

“Where to?” Eddie asked.

“Well,” Darryl began, “I’ve got this friend, who’s got this other friend, who knows this guy that’s looking for muscle over in Ludlow.”

“And you would be able to help, how?” Harmony said sarcastically.

“Watch it, bitch,” Darryl flashed his fangs at her.

Harmony rolled her eyes but shut up.

“But, dude,” Eddie said, “isn’t that like way out in the middle of nowhere. I mean, how do we get there?”

“We could, like, steal a car or something,” Jeff suggested.

“Oh, a convertible!” Darryl’s eyes widened. “Pick up some chicks while we’re at it.”

“And fry in the daylight,” Harmony pointed out.

“Oh…” Darryl’s face looked crestfallen. “Yeah, right.”

The group sat in silence for a minute.

Harmony finally sighed in exasperation. “Look, I hate to say this since I don’t want to get stuck in Loserville, but I have a car and everything. We could use that.”

“Pink!” Nelson’s eyes widened in horror.

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “That’s a girly color!”

“We’ll never be able to convince Vinny we’re tough in that thing,” Darryl agreed.

“So, does anybody _else_ have any ideas for getting there?” Harmony tapped her foot impatiently…

* * *

Five hours later, they finally arrived in Ludlow, Harmony’s bright pink BMW coming to a screeching stop outside the local McDonald’s. Harmony stepped proudly from the vehicle, her red stiletto heels clicking on pavement that was _still_ hot from the dry, desert heat. She made her way steadily to the door of the eatery.

Back in the car, the four male vampires peered out the blackened windows nervously. Once they had made sure that there was no one around to see them in their embarrassing situation, they practically flew from the vehicle, putting as much distance between themselves and it as they possibly could. They met Harmony right as she was reaching the door.

“Can I take your order, please?” the greasy woman at the counter asked in a nasal voice.

“Yes,” Darryl gave her what he thought was a seductive smile, “we’d like something to go.” With that, she grabbed the woman by the throat and sunk his teeth into her.

“Oh, _that’s_ original,” Harmony rolled her eyes as the other three males joined in the feed.

“C’mon, Harm,” Jeff ushered her over. “Get the food before it’s gone.”

“Like I’m eating _that_ ,” Harmony wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I mean, she’s just oozing with fat. You know what that would do to my diet?”

“Eat,” Darryl commanded.

Harmony grumbled but finally agreed to take one small sip of blood. “Ugh!” she said, pulling back. “ _Sooo_ fattening.”

The four male vamps shrugged and walked out, leaving Harmony to catch up with them.

“So, where to now?” Eddie demanded.

“Vinny’s supposed to have an old, abandoned gas station on the outskirts of town,” Darryl explained.

“Which would be, like, _one block_ from the center of town,” Harmony complained. “This place is so _boring_.”

“Harm,” Darryl said, “shut up.”

She sulked in silence behind them as they came up to the burned out building. Darryl knocked hard on the door several times, and finally a short, balding vamp opened the door.

“We’re here to help Vinny,” Darryl said proudly.

“Sure, whatever,” the other vamp let them in, carefully slicking his comb-over down when he saw Harmony.

“As if!” she rolled her eyes at him as she passed.

The sleazy vamp, not one to be easily put off, gave her a wide, crooked smile. “Check this out, baby,” he said, gesturing to an ancient symbol carved into the wall behind the gas station counter.

Harmony crossed her arms over her chest and snapped her gum in irritation.

Their persistent guide, however, merely tapped three points of the star in a particular order before pushing in the eye at the center. The wall immediately slid to the side, revealing a dark staircase leading downwards.

“An old magical lock,” he informed Harmony. “The only way to get into our lair.”

“Uh-huh,” she said disinterestedly before following Darryl down the stairs.

What they were met with was a dozen or so of the rattiest-looking vamps Harmony had ever seen. And she thought the gang she hung out with were losers!

The obvious leader sat in an armchair at the center of the group, which all had no choice but to sit on the floor.

“Ah,” the leader said when they walked in. “You must be Darryl,” he took the muscle-bound vamp’s hand.

“And you are Vinny?” Darryl asked.

“Indeed,” Vinny gestured to the floor. “Please, have a seat.”

The four males sat down.

“Ugh!” Harmony squealed. “It’s filthy! Do you have any idea how one-of-a-kind this skirt is?!”

“Harm!” Darryl hissed.

Vinny just chuckled, however. “It’s quite all right,” he said, a large, insincere smile plastered all over his face. “It’s just so rare that we have a woman of class into our nest…”

“Yeah, I can guess why,” Harmony said sarcastically, looking around at the tacky décor.

“Here,” Vinny extended a hand to her. “You can come sit with me.”

Harmony looked at the offered hand like it was a slug. She then checked the floor again. The lesser of two evils, it was. She carefully settled herself down on the arm of Vinny’s car and cringed slightly when he rested one hand on her bare thigh.

“Now that we’re all settled,” he gave Harmony’s leg a quick caress, “let’s discuss business.”

“We heard you had a problem that needed taken care of,” Darryl said enthusiastically.

“Ah yes,” Vinny agreed. “It seems we have a new vamp in town. He’s been making quite a nuisance of himself, too. Just last week he killed my favorite Childe for absolutely no reason.”

“So, you just want us to get rid of him?” Darryl asked.

“If you can,” Vinny shrugged.

“We’re the vamps for the job,” Darryl insisted proudly. “There’s nothin’ we can’t handle.”

Harmony rolled her eyes, then froze when she felt Vinny’s hand moving up her skirt.

“I’m sure,” Vinny said perfectly innocently, “but I’d like some… _collateral_ , if you will?”

Darryl frowned in confusion for a minute, but then the look of disgust on Harmony’s face finally connected the dots for him.

“You want Harm?” he shrugged. “Go ahead, she’s all yours.”

“Thanks a _lot_ , Darryl!” Harmony screeched in indignation.

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes.

“Ugh!” Harmony groaned at the thought of being stuck in this god-forsaken place for eternity.

“Don’t worry, sweet cheeks,” Vinny gave her rump a good pat. “We’ll have lots of fun together…” He gave her a wicked leer.

“Why me?” Harmony muttered under her breath.

“So,” Darryl said, eager to prove his manliness…er, vampiriness, “where do we find this guy?”

“He’ll be at Buck’s up the street,” Vinny said. “Goes by the name of ‘Spike’. You can’t miss him.”

“All right, boys,” Vinny said. “Let’s go.”

“See ya, Harm,” Jeff gave her a little wave before they left her alone with her newfound masters.

“So,” she said, trying to make the best of her situation, “what do you do for fun around here?”

A circle of male vampires closed around her in response.

* * *

Spike downed another glass of tequila. It looked like the Fungus Demon might actually win out tonight…except for the fact that the bottle was now empty. The bartender quickly rushed in with a refill while he started on the whiskey. Peaches, it was then…

His efforts to lose consciousness were one again foiled by a tap on the shoulder.

“What now?” he turned around in irritation, and his face was met by a fist.

“You don’t mess with Vinny!” one of those dumb, muscle-bound American vamps said proudly.

Spike’s head had flown back at the unexpected punch. However, now he returned to his normal seated position and gave the four game-faced vamps that surrounded him the evil eye.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” he threw his head back in exasperation when his senses informed him that they were all fledglings.

“Get out of town now,” another ordered.

Spike gave him a wicked smirk and shakily got to his feet. “Look, mate,” he said, pulling out a cigarette, “’m not goin’ anywhere. So I suggest this ‘Vinny’ get good and used to me bein’ around.”

“You don’t leave,” the leader of the little vampire group said, “then you’re dust!”

Spike raised one scarred eyebrow as the vampire moved to strike him again. He let the blow hit him square in the face and didn’t even flinch this time.

“That all you got?” he asked, his jaw clenching.

“You’re dead, man,” the young vamp instead…right before he found a wooden stake planted firmly in his heart.

“Darryl!” one of the other vamps cried out before launching himself at Spike.

Spike easily tripped him up as he flew past. He wobbled at bit on his feet, still a bit too drunk for any serious fighting. Luckily, these vamps were nothing serious. The two standing collided with each other when he stepped back from their attack. He caught each by the collar as they went down and threw them easily across the room.

He made sure the one at his feet was dust before turning to the one that had just landed on his neat pile of empty shot glasses.

“Now look at the mess you’ve made,” Spike shook his head. “Bloody amateurs…” He ripped the vamp’s head from his shoulders before he could respond.

“Which leaves,” Spike turned to the vamp that was just getting up from the floor, “jus’ you an’ me, mate.”

The young vampire quickly assessed that his three companions were dust and tried to make a run for it. Spike caught him neatly by the scruff of the neck as he went past.

“See, mate,” he said calmly to the vamp thrashing desperately to get free of his grasp, “you heard wrong. You don’t mess with _Spike_ ,” he hissed before staking the vamp through the back.

It exploded in a cloud of dust in front of him, and he wearily wiped the ashes from his leather jacket.

“Don’t they _ever_ learn?” Spike shook his head and gestured to the bartender for some more shot glasses…

* * *

Harmony awoke wearily in a pile of naked, male vampires. She groaned and managed to squirm her way free. At least she didn’t have to bring herself off this time, though. While three of them in her at a time was a bit excessive, it _did_ have the advantage of finally getting her off.

As long as she closed her eyes, that is. Honesty, were _all_ vamps this hideous? She was beginning to think she’d been inducted into the ugly tribe.

She quickly found her blouse and skirt – scattered on the dirty floor, _of course_ – and got dressed. Her shoes were a bit more difficult. She finally found the first under the ‘throne’ in the center of the room. The second was under Vinny, and she had to roll him over to get it.

“Oh great!” she groaned when she saw that the three-inch heel was broken.

Then she shrugged and took the gum from her mouth, sticking the heel back into place. She took a few experimental steps and decided that it would work for now.

“You goin’ somewhere?” a rough voice demanded when she moved to go up the stairs.

She turned around to see that Vinny had his eyes open. “Duh!” she rolled her eyes. “Haven’t eaten all evening, here!”

“Buck’s is the only place open,” he informed her before falling back into a deep, snoring sleep. Harmony watched in disgust as a large glob of spit dribbled down the side of his mouth.

“Gross!” she shivered, heading up the stairs and out the ‘secret’ door.

Buck’s was easy to find, given that the rest of the town was a pitch-black, deserted wasteland except for the one orange neon sign.

Harmony stepped inside and coughed. The place smelled like stale smoke and nasty liquor and males that hadn’t bathed in decades. _No chance of finding a juicy kill tonight_ , she moaned to herself.

Until she saw him, that is.

Harmony had to pick her jaw up off of the floor before she drooled all over the place. That was how hot the man at the bar was. Of course, he was dressed hopelessly out of style. Black T-shirt, black jeans, black leather duster, black _fingernail polish_? Bad ultra-bleach job.

 _Hello, eighties are sooo dead!_ Harmony’s fashion sense screamed.

 _Who cares with a body like that?_ Her sex drive countered.

Harmony agreed with the second assessment. She was getting very hungry.

She gave her cleavage and hair a quick fluff and made her way over to the bar on one shaky heel.

“Hi there, handsome,” she said, sliding into the seat beside him.


	3. Ill Met By Moonlight

Spike groaned. What was the problem _now_?! “What do you want?” he barked angrily, downing another glass of scotch – he’d decided that he needed a bit of a change.

“Hey, if you want me to go, it’s no big…” Harmony leaned over the counter, giving him a good look down her blouse…or at least, it _would_ , if he ever bothered to look in her direction.

“Look,” he rolled his eyes and turned to face her, “if you’ve got a problem with…” He trailed off when he noticed the female vamp wasn’t in game face. In fact, she looked suspiciously like she was trying to pick him up, what with the chest practically falling out of that little pink top and all…

“No problem,” Harmony put one hand over his when she saw she’d gotten his attention. “I just wanted to… _talk_ ,” she gave him a little wink with this word, letting him know _exactly_ what ‘talking’ meant.

“OK, now I _know_ someone’s playin’ a practical joke on me,” Spike turned his eyes heavenwards. “Cute, pet. Real cute. But you’re not foolin’ me.”

“Humph!” Harmony threw her hair back over her shoulder and pouted. “There’s no reason to be rude! I was just—”

“What? ‘Vinny’ sent you?” Spike cut her off.

Harmony’s face fell. “You know Vinny?” she sighed. “You’re a vamp, huh?”

“You didn’t know?!” Spike exclaimed in surprise and  then let out a loud whoop of laughter when she shook her head negative.

“Hey,” Harmony put her hands on her hips, “I’ve only been hunting on my own twice before! Give me a break.”

Spike was still trying to contain his mirth. “A hint, luv,” he said between chuckles. “If the hand’s cold…” He gestured to where Harmony’s hand was still on his.

She quickly pulled it back and sulked. “Surprise, surprise,” she was sourly, “all of Vinny’s friends are jerks, too.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed when he looked at her again. “’m no friend of Vinny’s, luv. Bloody ponce won’t leave me alone ‘s the problem…”

“Oh!” Harmony’s eyes widened in sudden realization, and she bounced up and down on the barstool. “I know who you are! You’re Spike! You’re the one Darryl went after!”

“Darryl?” Spike was actually getting a bit woozy watching her jump up and down. _Note to self: never get this drunk again_ , he added to his mental list of things that would promptly be ignored.

“Big, ugly guy,” she clarified. “Bad acne problem. No clue _what_ to do when he gets his hands on a woman…”

“There was these four wankers that came in ‘ere earlier,” Spike said, his headache increasing exponentially by every moment. “Dusted the lot…”

“You killed Darryl?!” Harmony exclaimed in horror. Then she paused to think about it for a moment. “Good,” she finally added.

“You knew ‘im?”

“My Sire,” she shuttered slightly at the thought. “Hey!” she gestured to the bartender. “Another one of whatever _those_ is,” she pointed to the glass in Spike’s hand.

“’e was a real loser,” Spike commented.

“Tell me about it,” Harmony threw back the shot like a pro.

Spike watched her and felt the room around him begin to spin.

“Hey, are you OK?” Harmony watched him start to wobble.

“’s jus’,” he slurred the words, “room’s spinnin’…”

And he promptly fell from his stool onto the floor, unconscious.

“Great,” the bartender sighed. “Third time this week,” he informed Harmony.

“What do we do with him?” Harmony nudged him slightly with the toe of one of her shoes. He didn’t budge.

“He’s staying at the Motor Inn next door,” the bartender shrugged. “I’ll just drag him back over there.”

Harmony watched the man grab Spike under the arms and drag him across the bar floor. She opened the door for him, feeling the need to be helpful for some odd reason. She followed them to the Motor Inn, and they came to a stop before room seven.

“Help me find his key, will you?” the bartender asked, looking through Spike’s jacket pockets.

Harmony knelt down to help with the search. Finally, she found a key chain in his left front jean pocket, and a motel key was firmly attached to the ring.

“That’s it,” the bartender informed her.

She unlocked the door and held it open until the barkeep had dragged Spike inside.

“Now comes the hard part,” he informed her, “getting him onto the bed.”

“Let me give it a shot,” she said, brushing him aside.

“Uh, sweetie,” he looked at her incredulously, “there’s no _way_ you’re gonna be able to lift him.”

“Wanna bet,” Harmony tossed her hair over her shoulder defiantly.

She leaned over to pick him up. She managed to get her arms around his back and under his knees with no problem. It was the lifting part that was troublesome. She made it about halfway before she became unbalanced on her feet and began stumbling around the room.

“Christ, honey,” the barkeep leapt back as the two of them took down a small end table, “watch where you’re going!”

“I. Can. Do. This,” Harmony insisted.

That was right before her broken heel finally detached, and she went flying backward, taking Spike with her.

By some miracle, she tripped right back onto the bed and sprawled across it, Spike’s body draped across her chest.

“Hah!” she told the bartender triumphantly. “I told you I could do it!”

“Uh, yeah,” he looked very unconvinced that their eventual landing had been at all what she was intending. “Look, I’ve got to go back to the bar, so if you’re like a friend or…” He had the decency to blush.

“I can handle this,” Harmony insisted.

“Uh-huh,” he looked her up and down, disbelieving. “Sure.” And then he shut the door behind him.

This left Harmony to deal with the unconscious vampire on top of her all by herself. Fortunately, dealing with unconscious vampires on top of her was pretty much all she’d done since she’d been turned. She rolled him to the side with acquired skill and took in a deep breath of air when she was done.

“Isn’t the whole point of super-strength that all this stuff should be easy?” she demanded of no one in particular.

However, she got a slight grunt in response.

“You alive?” she demanded, looking down into his face.

“No, of course not,” he groaned, his eyes opening. “’m undead, you ninny.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Harmony threw her hands up in the air. “That’s just great! I go to all this trouble to help you, and what thanks do I get? None! As usual! Everyone, come look at how pathetic my life has become. See? Watch her get turned into a vampire and dragged out in the middle of nowhere to be traded to some greasy car dealer vamp, who wouldn’t know a _real_ woman if she came up and…and…and did something really womany!” she finally finished lamely.

Spike watched this entire diatribe with moderate curiosity. “Y’know,” he said slowly once she had finished, “’m really drunk right now…”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Harmony put her hands on her hips and looked down at him.

“You wanna have sex?” he asked.

Harmony paused for a minute. “Yeah, sure,” she shrugged.

And then they were all over each other.

Harmony gave off a delighted little squeal when he wrestled her to the mattress beneath him. She clawed at his jacket, pushing it down from his shoulders. He backed off enough to pull it free, and Harmony took the opportunity to run her hands up his chest right under his tight black T-shirt. She pulled the material up with her as she went, and he pulled it off and flung it aside.

Harmony’s mouth went dry at the sight on lean muscle before her. This was _definitely_ more to her liking.

Spike, meanwhile, had taken to peppering soft kisses up and down her throat. He released the buttons on her blouse as he did so, nimble fingers making quick work of the fluffy, pink garment. She shrugged it off and moaned when he freed her of her bra and his mouth latched on to the exposed skin there.

She fell back onto the bed, him right on top of her. He was now suckling at kneading at her breasts in earnest, his tongue and thumb flicking across the hardened nipples in time with each other.

“Oh, yes…” Harmony moaned loudly. “Don’t stop!”

His free hand found its way to her skirt zipper now, and he slowly removed the garment. Her own hands found the front of his jeans and clumsily undid the belt and buttons there. He yanked off her skirt while shimmying out of his jeans at the same time.

Of course, he was foiled by the fact that he was still wearing his boots, and he had to break away for a minute to remove them.

Harmony sat up and gasped when he turned his back to her, eagerly awaiting his return.

Removing his boots took a bit longer than usual since he had forgotten about the concept of shoelaces in his inebriated state.

“Spike,” Harmony whined, “come back to bed…”

“Just a minute, luv,” he said, finally pulling his last boot off and kicking his jeans across the room. He turned back to her.

Harmony got one good look and the full length of him, and little cash register noises started going off in her head. “Jackpot,” she squealed to herself as he crawled up over her.

He mounted her quickly, pinning her arms above her head as he did so. A low growl settled in the back of his throat when he put one knee between her legs and spread them apart. He lowered himself into the space between her thighs…

And shouted out in surprise when he encountered the soft silk of her panties.

With one swift motion, he ripped them from her, ruining the fancy, pink garment.

“Hey!” Harmony exclaimed. “Do you have any idea how much I—?”

“Shut up!” he cut her off, his lips smashing down upon hers.

She whimpered at the brutal assault of his kiss and the need building up between her legs at the feel of him long and hard against the inside of her thigh. His tongue, meanwhile, plunged into her mouth, exploring every nook and cranny, and finding…

Her gum.

“Oh, bugger!” he said, spitting the pink Bubble Yum out of his mouth.

“Do you _mind_?” Harmony cried out. “That was my last piece, and—”

“God, don’t you ever stop yapping?” he ground his jaw in irritation. Then, before she could respond, he began digging around in the duffel bag next to the bed.

“What are you doing?” she demanded shrilly. “I don’t have to put up with this, you know! I could just walk out of here right now, and—”

“Sun’s up,” he pointed out.

“And…and I could just throw _you_ out and—”

He snorted derisively. “Like to see you try…”

“I _could_!” she insisted. “I mean, who was just carrying who out of a bar and, hey!” she squealed when he finally brought out the object from his duffel bag. “That better not be what I think it is ‘cause— Mmf!”

Her objections came to an abrupt halt when he stuffed the bandana in her mouth.

“Hey!” she said, pulling it out. “What gives you the right to— Eep!”

That was in response to feral growl he gave her. He tackled her back onto the bed and caught her hands up above her head. She squirmed a bit, more for show that anything else, as he bound her wrists together with a second handkerchief and latched them to the head of the bed frame.

“Now, be quiet!” he demanded, stuffing the gag back into her mouth.

Harmony nodded rigorously as he once again slid over her, all smooth alabaster skin and lean muscle. He once again spread her thighs and settled himself between them with surprising gentleness.

“Do you want me?” he whispered softly, his fingers teasing her opening.

She nodded again.

He removed his fingers from her and tasted the wetness there. “Good girl,” he said before lining his length against her needy void and pushing in hard.

Harmony gave a muffled scream of pleasure when she felt him finally inside of her. He thrust in and out vigorously, his movements above her wild and frenzied. His eyes were shut tight as he pumped faster and faster, unnecessary ragged breaths escaping from his lips.

Harmony met his thrusts with everything she had. The feel of him was absolutely glorious! Those stupid boys she had been with all these past few months didn’t know a thing. _This_ was a real man. His girth stretched her inner walls completely, filling her beyond anything she had ever felt before. The power as he rammed into her was almost unbearable. So _this_ was what they had meant by vampire strength and endurance…

She wrapped her legs tightly around him, increasing the force of their coupling, demanding more and more… She needed so much after what she had been through in recent months.

His pushes grew harder and deeper, exploring regions within her that she had never even known had existed before. Finally, with a savage cry, he features transformed and his fangs plunged deep into her throat, absorbing her very essence.

He was brutal, punishing, carnal in his lust. And Harmony was with him every step of the way.

“Mmmmmmmmf!” she cried out through the gag when a wave of pure bliss washed over her, erasing everything but him from her mind.

He let out a loud roar as he rode her orgasm out, his cold seed firing deep into her womb. And then his returned to its normal planes, and he collapsed on top of her.

It took Harmony a while to realize this since her own orgasm was so blinding in its intensity. In truth, she had never experienced anything like it. However, after a while the weight of the body on top of her became a bit uncomfortable.

She looked up at the knots that tied her hands, and after a bit of fiddling – and quite a few nasty red rope-burn marks – she finally managed to get her hands free. She pulled off the gag immediately before turning to the matter of the sleeping vampire in her arms.

He had his head pillowed against her shoulder, and his eyelashes fluttered slowly when he took deep, steady breaths. Of course, the rate of his breathing was much too slow for any human to survive, but it still had a rather endearing quality about it.

Harmony rolled him over so that he lay on his side facing her. One of his arms wrapped about her waist, clutching her possessively to her.

Harmony tentatively reached out with one hand to brush a lock of peroxide blond hair up off of his forehead. He really was undeniably gorgeous. And a demon in the sack as well – both literally and metaphorically. Harmony was so completely in love…well, in _lust_ actually. But, really, what was the difference?

“Oh yeah,” she rested her head on the pillow beside his. “You’re _definitely_ a keeper…” And she drifted off to sleep as well.


	4. Hangover

Spike awoke mid-afternoon with the mother of all hangovers. He groaned and threw the blanket over his head, trying desperately to block out the indirect light that brightened the room. When that didn’t work, he flipped over and buried his head against the woman beside him.

Wait a minute…

 _What_ woman beside him?!

He leapt up in stark realization that there was a naked, female vampire in his bed. And he didn’t even have to look to tell it wasn’t Dru.

“Oh god!” he put his head in his hands when he realized what must have happened last night.

“Mmm,” Harmony rolled over and looked up at him sleepily. “’Morning. How are you feeling?”

“Shit!” Spike leapt out of bed, banging his toe on the dresser as he did so.

He hopped around on one foot until the sheet he’d dragged out with him got caught around his leg, and he fell to the floor.

“Shit…” he repeated softly. He closed his eyes. Maybe it was all a bad dream.

“You OK?” a nasal, annoying noise demanded.

He opened his eyes. An equally nasal and annoying face was looking down at him from the edge of the bed. “Oh sure,” he said sarcastically. “Never better. What ever gave you the idea something was wrong?”

“There’s no need to get snarky,” Harmony huffed. “I was just being polite is all…”

“Polite,” Spike repeated her word. “Polite… Tell me, was it _polite_ to invite yourself into my bed?!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

“What?!” Harmony screamed back shrilly. “ _You’re_ the one who tied _me_ up, mister!”

“I tied you up?” Spike groaned and closed his eyes again.

“You don’t remember?” Harmony said in disbelief.

“No,” he confessed. If anything, the pounding in his head was getting worse.

“Well, that’s just great!” She threw her hands up in the air in disgust. “The greatest night of my life, and _you_ don’t even remember it?!”

“Oh god,” Spike repeated his earlier sentiment. “Look,” he said, “’m sorry for whatever happened last night, but I just think you should go now.”

“Oh, I get it,” Harmony huffed. “Got drunk and ran around on the missus, did you?”

“That’s right!” Spike exclaimed. Then he paused. “Well, no. That’s wrong… Well, it’s kind of right, except for the fact that there _isn’t_ a missus anymore since she left me…but still!”

“So, you’re kicking me out because you cheated on someone who dumped you,” Harmony rolled her eyes. “Why are the handsome ones always out of their minds?”

“No,” Spike gave her a nasty glare and sat up, “I’m kicking you out ‘cause you’re an annoying little chit.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Harmony gave him her best imitation of a threatening stare, “but how _dare_ you call me that?!”

“’ll call you whatever I want!” he yelled right back at her.

“To repeat your own sentiment from earlier: it’s daylight, doofus! I can’t go anywhere!”

“Well, you can’t stay here!”

“Yes, I can!”

“No, you can’t!”

“Yes, I can!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“No!” Harmony switched her tactics.

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes! And that’s final!” Spike insisted. “You’re staying whether you like it or not and…oh bugger!” he moaned when he realized he’d been tricked. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his face in his hands.

Harmony cautiously inched over to him. When he didn’t bite, she tentatively reached out to put her hands on his shoulders. He still didn’t put away, and she began to knead the knots out of his back.

“See?” she said softly. “I’m not so bad…”

“Mmm…” he murmured, allowing himself to relax. Miraculously, he headache seemed to be going away despite the continued presence of the irritating brat he’d picked up last night.

“I can help you out, too, if you’ll let me stick around,” she purred into his ear. “That vamp that’s after you. I know where he lives…”

“Yeah, well, so do I,” Spike sulked. “’s bleedin’ impossible to get into his lair, though.”

“I know the way in,” Harmony persisted. “It’s guarded by magic, but I know the trick.”

“Do you now?” he turned to look at her, and she noticed for the first time that he had hopelessly blue eyes. They were the kind of eyes most girls dreamed about getting lost in.

“Tonight I’ll show you,” she smiled slightly, taking his hand.

He gave her a wry smile of his own before his face clouded over. “What do you want in return?” he demanded.

“You killed my Sire last night,” she replied. “He left me with Vinny and all of his losers. I don’t want to stay with them…”

“Yeah, well ‘m ditching town any day now,” he retorted.

“So, take me with you,” she sidled up against him. “I never even wanted to come to this hellhole in the first place. And I can be a…valuable travelling companion. As she said the word ‘valuable’, her hand snaked slowly around his cock, her touch causing it to spring back to life.

“If you…think…that that…will convince me…you’re… Oh god!” he gasped when she dropped to her knees on the floor and took him into her mouth.

She sucked and slurped at him for all she was worth, her tongue twisting around him every time she took him in. She was a bit unpracticed with men of his length, but she bit down the gag reflex and took him in up to the hilt.

“Well?” she asked, pulling back to engulf him once more. “Is it…” slurp, “…a deal?” Her hands clenched around his balls as she said the last word and she took him back inside her wet mouth.

“Yes!” Spike cried out as his orgasm tore through him, his chilled semen erupting into her throat.

Harmony licked up every drop, tidying him a bit after she was done.

He had, meanwhile, fallen back onto the mattress. “Tonight,” he said, “let’s go kill them…”

* * *

“I’m hungry!” Harmony whined.

“Then you should’ve eaten some of the maid,” Spike said, lighting up a cigarette.

“Those things’ll kill you, you know,” Harmony informed him.

“No, really?” Spike said in mock-surprise. “’s a good thing you told me then, since ‘m extra worried about dyin’, what with being _already dead_ an’ all!”

“Well,” Harmony huffed, “there’s no reason to yell! Are you always this cranky? Because if you are—”

“Just find this damn car of yours you keep whinin’ about,” Spike cut her off with an annoyed glare.

“Humph,” Harmony stuck her nose up in the haughtily…so she couldn’t see where she was going. “Ouch!” she exclaimed when she crashed right into a streetlight.

“Oh yeah,” Spike muttered under his breath, “ _this_ is gonna work…”

“There it is!” Harmony exclaimed, hopping on her one good heel over to her pink BMW.

Spike stared at the monstrosity in abject horror. “ _That’s_ your car?!” he finally sputtered.

“Brand new paint job and everything,” Harmony said proudly, popping open the trunk. “Daddy got it done for me.”

“You painted a BMW _pink_?!” Spike exclaimed in utter disbelief.

“I wanted a Ferrari, but Daddy says no convertibles until I’m twenty-one,” she wrinkled her nose. “He’s such a prude sometimes.”

“’Cept you’ll never turn twenty-one,” Spike pointed out. “Thank god,” he shuttered at the atrocities that she could be committing on even finer cars.

“What do you mean?” Harmony was now digging through her bags in the trunk, looking for her shoes.

“You’re dead,” he informed her. “No growing older, and no ‘Daddy’.”

Harmony rolled her eyes. “It’s not like he’ll notice I don’t age,” she commented flippantly.

“Don’t tell me you still associate with him?!” Spike cried out in shock.

“Well, duh!” Harmony turned to look at him. “How else would I get my monthly allowance?”

“A-Allowance?” he stammered. “What kind of vampire are you?”

“A pretty one,” she fluffed her hair slightly and batted her eyelashes at him.

“I don’t believe this!” Spike’s eyes flew heavenward.

“Neither do I,” Harmony sighed. “Can you _believe_ that I forgot my extra pair of red heels? All I have are navy and white! And those _sooo_ don’t go with this skirt. Can we go back to the motel so I can change?”

“No, we can’t go back,” his eyes widened in disbelief. “They’ll ‘ve found the body of the maid by now.”

“Ugh,” she groaned, “then I guess I’ll have to wear…sneakers!” She bemoaned the last word like it was the end of the universe.

Spike’s brow furrowed as he watched her lace up the hot pink Keds. “If you hate sneakers,” he asked, fearing the answer, “then why do you own them?”

Harmony looked up at him in horror. “They’re _shoes_!” she replied, as if this answered his question.

“Uh-huh.” Spike was pretty sure that his hangover was gone, and this headache was pure irritation. “Let’s just go kill something.”

Harmony beamed at him. “Aw, you’re so sweet!” She jumped up and wound her arm around his. “This way,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

Spike began to repeat the mantra _‘why me?’_ over and over again in his head. Luckily, this town was tiny, and they’d arrived at the burned out gas station in less than five minutes.

“There was a guard last time I was here,” Harmony began, “so you might want to… Oh.” She watched in amazement as he kicked the door down and ripped the head clear off the sleazy vamp with the bad comb-over. “Or not,” she hastily added.

“Where’s the nest?” Spike demanded, stomping right into the building and pulling Harmony along with him.

“Over here,” she smiled proudly and hit the key pattern on the ancient symbol.

Spike stared oddly at the symbol for a second before shaking his head. “That it?” he said when the door opened.

“Yup,” Harmony said. “See? I told you I’d be useful.”

“Yeah,” Spike put out his cigarette with the toe of his boot. “You might want to stay out of the way…”

“But, there’s – like – twelve!” Harmony cried out when he leapt down the stairs.

Growls and shouts immediately started sounding from the den below. Cautiously, Harmony walked down the stairs just in time to see Spike stake the last two. Dust still filled the air as the ashes of all of Vinny’s gang settled around them.

“Oh my,” Harmony said breathlessly when Spike turned to face her, demon face still in full force.

Yellowed eyes honed in on her for a second and then he was upon her.

“Mmf!” Harmony exclaimed as his lips crushed down upon hers. His ferocity awakened her own demon, and she met his fangs with her own. “Oh, Spike!” she whimpered when he finally pulled away.

His reason for doing this was that he had spotted the trophy case at the far end of the room. Inside were a bunch of cheap knick-knacks…and one undeniably ancient tome. Spike smashed the glass and pulled it out. ‘The Gem of Amara and Other Vampiric Talismans’ read the cover. Hey, who knew? Maybe it would make for some good reading. Besides, it was a waste to leave it in this hellhole…

“Let’s get out of this dump,” he said, tucking the book under one arm and capturing her wrist in a steely grasp and pulling her up the stairs.

“OK,” Harmony sighed, still a bit breathless from the intensity of that kiss.

They made the short walk to where his DeSoto was parked in a shed, hidden out in the desert.

“Wait,” Harmony said when he shoved her in the passenger’s seat. “What about my car?”

“Leave it,” Spike insisted, gunning the engine.

“And my things!” Harmony squealed.

Spike rolled his eyes and caved in. He came to a screeching halt next to her car, and she jumped out. He waited impatiently for a while, tapping his fingers on the dashboard.

“Well?” he finally rolled down the window when he noticed Harmony was just sitting by the open trunk.

“Well?” she demanded herself.

He stared at her dumbly for a minute before he finally realized what she meant. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” his ground his jaw in irritation.

“Well, _I’m_ not carrying them!” Harmony pouted. “They’re heavy!”

“Look,” Spike said, “’m not you’re bleedin’ valet. Now get your bags an’ get in the car before I drive off.”

Harmony made a little mewling sound, and her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” he finally exclaimed in exasperation.

He slammed the car door shut behind him and lugged two of her bags out of her trunk.

“Thank you!” Harmony squealed in delight as he threw them into the trunk of the DeSoto.

“Cor, woman! How many bags do you have?” he said in disbelief when moving the next two yielded more beneath them.

“Total, or just here?” Harmony stuck a fresh stick of gum in her mouth. “’Cause I packed light for this trip…”

“ _Seven_ bags is light?” Spike exclaimed incredulously. He slammed the trunk shut behind him and climbed back into the DeSoto. “You coming?” he demanded when she just stood outside his window.

“You’re sweet,” she laughed suddenly, ruffling his hair and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

A low growl rumbled from his chest.

“You sound just like a bear,” she informed him, getting into the car beside him and cuddling up to his side. “A cute little teddy bear…my Blondie Bear.”

Spike’s jaw clenched to the point where he was sure he’d snap his fangs. His foot slammed down on the accelerator, and the car screeched out of the desert town.

“This will be just tons of fun!” Harmony said enthusiastically. “Oh! Do you like Britney?” she asked, fiddling with the radio.

“Turn that down, er…” Spike turned to look at her. “What did you say you’re name was again?”

“Harmony,” she gave him another peck on the cheek.

“Harmony?!” he blurted out. “What kind of a name for a vampire is _Harmony_?!”

“You’re one to talk!” Harmony huffed. “Last I checked, Spike was a _dog’s_ name!”

Spike muttered obscenities under his breath and debated pulling over to the side of the road and ripping her heart out.

Her hand made its way to his thigh, and she began to stroke him softly. “You can call me Harm, though,” she whispered in his ear before her hand moved on to…other regions of his anatomy.

“Harm,” he moaned, trying to keep his focus on the road. “’s more than appropriate for you…”


End file.
